Every so called Aunt worth her good looks wants to have an affair with during anytime of the day when their husbands are away in agriculture field. Why Rameela and Suresh wants you to sleep in their home all the night when their mother have gone to her mayaka, you have whole night to play. Why do respected ladies in the society outside, remove their clothes including bra and petticoat when you go their home on their call. They are very elder may be bit younger then my mother but have charming healthy gori body and elopes with you.
We are taught morals of relationships in the school but the sisters in larger family, and aunts with very satisfied love life, having children; opens their body glow to mesmerize you. I used to read Gita in the morning, I used to recite Gayatri Mantra 11 times in morning worship ritual; but I never knew what Karma is waiting for me in the noon and with which beautiful Aunty or sister, or a group of them.
It was a complex life. Morning life was as Gita-Press publications suggest to a boy, which were bought from Gita Press Gorakhpur's Haridwar Har-ki-Paudi stall. The good books were meant to give sanskaars to the young child, a metaphysical state. and the female bodies of various ages were eagerly rubbing my body for physical pleasures. The paradox of complexity of human mind, body and desires could never became clear to me. As an obedient boy I went through all this drama of absurdity. The morals were confused, hypocrasy to the core. The mother of three calls me 'son' preaches me good behavior but when got a chance will remove her clothes, in close house and jump on me. She is still alive a very rich lady. The girls of street would assemble in home of one of them, then they will send a message to me through some child that I am called by so and so. And I am asked to play Krishna with group of 3 or 4 Gopikas, all elder to me.
We are told and taught in academia the village as a pure place, a place of highest morality, good harmonious relations and comradeship. But I always felt it a place of complex sexual immorality; sodomy and homosexuality was the order of everyday life. When I used to go for morning ease in the sugarcane field I do not know how the Chamari or the schedule class dalit women or dalit girls, working in farms notice me and follow me in side the thick sugarcane field and sit just opposite to me, easing and looking at me with sexual greed and finally blackmailing me into sexual act else my beating was a shout away from her, if do not do she shouts; in that shit lidded holes you do shit.
There are few such obscene incidents that I would hate to recollect then, they are so unethical and para-moral, oh my god. You would say you enjoyed your boyhood? Somehow the paradox of religion that my parents used to thrust upon me and the ugly sexual act that used to follow or happen with me there, just finished my faith in every relation howsoever close pious it should have been. I never hated my relatives for this, I mean, members of my family or larger family, never, but could never like to live in that over pouring of love of sex with females of every age and every relationship (cast and creed).
I decided to keep my children away from this hell. And I never took them to my village for longer stay there; they are not made to know about who are their cousins, their Aunts, their uncles or maternal uncle. They should not be subjected to the absurdity of sex with outwardly, socially honorable ladies or torture of sodomy from respected uncles and elder brothers. Never!
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